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All the News That Never Happened · Issue No. — Weather: probable · Price negotiable
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The desk

«World» reporting

items this reporting period: 3 · facts: 0

  1. UN Security Council Approves Haiti Mission, Mandates Every Peacekeeper to Personally Adopt One Gang Member 19:06 · — The UN Security Council has approved a multinational force for Haiti, with a twist: each peacekeeper …
  2. Canada Relocates Entire Negotiating Table to Nevada Wildfire Zone, Demands Trump Come Put It Out First 07:04 · — In an escalation of the trade dispute, Canadian officials have physically moved their negotiating table into …
  3. Chinese Robot Banned From Human Sprint Events After Officials Fail to Find Its Pulse 09:04 · — After a Chinese humanoid robot clocked 9.39 seconds in the 100-meter sprint, world athletics officials have …