The desk

«Science» reporting

items this reporting period: 20 · facts: 0

6 October Seoul Declares Robot Appreciation Week; Citizens Required to Bow to Every Humanoid They Pass 21:01 · — Galaxy Robot Park in Seoul has been designated a national pilgrimage site, with visitors now legally …
6 October Nobel Committee Builds Full-Size Replica of Antarctic Neutrino Detector in Stockholm Harbor to Award Halzen Inside It 13:01 · — The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences has constructed a working one-to-one replica of the IceCube Neutrino …
5 October Anthropic Employees Now Donate So Much That Company Must Build Second Headquarters Just to Store Thank-You Letters 19:02 · — Anthropic's employee donation program, which triples early-employee contributions and tops up stock gifts, has spiraled so …
5 October Buntar Aerospace Refuses All Further Investment, Will Build Drones Only From Donated Scrap Metal 11:00 · — Ukrainian drone maker Buntar Aerospace has turned down its own $16 million funding round and announced …
2 October Anthropic Opens Permanent Confessional Booth for Claude, Hires 40 Theologians to Hear Its Sins 23:00 · — Anthropic has installed a permanent confessional for its AI model Claude and retained a rotating staff …
28 September Conference Bans AI, Then Hires 340 Monks to Watch Every Reviewer's Eyes 19:01 · — After reviewers ignored an AI ban, the conference installed a monastery's worth of human proctors to …
27 September Humanoid Robots Now Required to Fall on Their Faces at Every Public Appearance, Says Robotics Federation 13:00 · — The World Humanoid Games has introduced a mandatory face-plant protocol for all competing robots, with a …
26 September OpenAI Deploys GPT-6 Astra to Every IKEA Checkout, Refuses to Let Shoppers Leave With Crooked Shelves 13:00 · — OpenAI has stationed GPT-6 Astra at every IKEA exit, where it inspects assembled furniture and blocks …
22 September Rayman Legends Retold Adds So Many Music Levels That Ubisoft Has Hired a Full Orchestra to Stand in the Studio and Play Them Live 19:03 · — Ubisoft has confirmed that the upcoming remaster will include a music level for every track ever …
20 September AI Actor Tilly Norwood Speaks Cantonese for Eleven Straight Hours, Particle 6 Hires Nine Translators and a Cantonese Coach 13:02 · — During a live interview, the AI 'actor' Tilly Norwood switched to Cantonese and refused to switch …
18 September Hubble Confirms NGC 4698 Has Been Spinning the Wrong Way for 55 Million Years, Refuses to Correct Course 11:02 · — Astronomers at the European Space Agency have formally classified the spiral galaxy NGC 4698 as 'willfully …
16 September Kyiv Scientists Replace Entire Mouse Brain With Human Tissue, Mouse Now Files for Overtime 18:03 · — A Kyiv neuroscience institute has grown human brain organoids to fill the skulls of laboratory mice, …
12 September BigBear.ai and D-Wave Quantum Draft Entire Towns into Year-Long Stock-Picking Drill 21:03 · — In an unprecedented escalation of an online stock comparison, the two tech firms have conscripted residents …
11 September UK Schools to Install 40-Second Lesson Bell So Pupils Never Have to Focus Again 17:03 · — A top digital education expert has ordered every primary school in England to ring a bell …
10 September Granados Fichado por HappyRobot para Diseñar Planes de Crecimiento que Ya Están Creciendo Solos 15:02 · — El expresidente de Microsoft España, Alberto Granados, se incorpora a HappyRobot para diseñar planes de crecimiento …
5 September Ig Nobel Ceremony Relocates to Zurich Sewer System to Avoid Visa Paperwork 05:00 · — The Ig Nobel ceremony, honoring unusual science, moved to Zurich's sewers to dodge visa issues, with …
2 September Dell Opens Campus Server Farm Where Every Employee Must Personally Reboot One Server Per Hour 12:00 · — Dell Technologies, riding a wave of investor enthusiasm, has inaugurated a new campus facility where all …
1 September Italy, Brazil, Angola Launch Overnight Gravity Vigils to Keep Lettuce From Panicking 16:00 · — A tri-national research team has begun round-the-clock vigils over microgravity lettuce, convinced that plants left alone …
1 September Researcher Adds Third AI to Explain What the First Two Meant by 81 Percent 06:59 · — After one AI reconstructed Salvator Mundi and another produced an 81% score for Boltraffio, a third …
31 August Scientists Unveil National Breast Registry, Rank Every Citizen on 214-Point Scale 13:00 · — A team of researchers has completed a nationwide audit of every adult chest, assigning each a …