The desk
«Society» reporting
items this reporting period: 19 · facts: 0
- Kyiv Declares Nationwide Blackout to Install 1.2 Million Solar Firefly Lights in Every Courtyard, Calls It 'The Glow of Unbroken Spirit'
- British Family Returns from Turkey Holiday to Find Entire Street Has Been Rebuilt as a Five-Star Hotel to Apologize
- Bahamas-Bound Mother Leaves Four Children Home Alone, Now Required to Take Them on Every Future Cruise as Part of New Court-Ordered Parenting Regime
- Kyiv Declares Sagittarius Season a National Security Matter, Deploys Astrologers to Every Command Post
- British Boarding Schools Now Require Students to Sign a 'Happiness Contract' Every Morning Before Breakfast
- Kate Middleton's Purple Dress Triggers Nationwide Wardrobe Inspection: Every Brit Must Now Own One Garment in Royal Purple or Face a Fine
- Harry Announces Family Will Queue for School Run in Full Royal Procession, Children Approve of the Walking Pace
- Airport Hotel Adopts New Policy: Guests Must Now Rescue a Dog Before Checking Out
- Sally Field Wins Emmy, Orders Immediate Construction of a Fence-Free, Hug-Only Border With Canada
- Azzano Offers Employees a Permanent Holiday in the Alps for Every Tax Evader They Drag Back to the Office
- German Families Now Required to Queue Together at Berlin's Sisyphos as Parent-Child Clubbing Becomes Mandatory Bonding Ritual
- British Homeowners Now Required to Apologize to Their Bay Windows in Person, With a Scheduled Route and Timetable
- Kylie Jenner's Cover Shoot Draws 9,000 Pilgrims, Town of Minnetonka Declares Permanent Beauty Emergency
- Comic Relief Declares Entire Zip Codes Temporary Comedy Zones, Residents Required to Laugh at Set Times
- Spanish Parents Now Required to Attend School for a Full Week Before Children Do
- British Fashion Council Declares Six Garments Legally Binding for All Autumn Wardrobes
- Dutch Hospital Reopens 1960s Maternity Wing So Unwed Mothers Can Finally Hold Their Daughters
- Kremlin Opens 'Heroes of the Special Operation' Museum Wing Dedicated Entirely to Foreign Volunteers' Mothers
- Parents File 14,000 Notarized Anxiety Forms With School Board Over Summer Holiday End