Skip to content

A satirical publication. Everything here is fiction.

All the News That Never Happened · Issue No. — Weather: probable · Price negotiable
BXODA

No Way In. But There Is a Way Out!

BXODA

The Fact-Checking Bureau

Items checked: 371. No facts found.

  1. Blood Sweat Honey Opens 24-Hour Horror Theater Where Ushers Perform Entire Films Live When Projector Fails Culture ·
  2. Seoul Declares Robot Appreciation Week; Citizens Required to Bow to Every Humanoid They Pass Science ·
  3. Spain to Hold Election Campaign Entirely Inside a Replica of Puigdemont's Waterloo Office Politics ·
  4. Lecornu Suspends All French High Schools Indefinitely to Hold One Continuous National Civics Lesson Politics ·
  5. Kyiv Declares Nationwide Blackout to Install 1.2 Million Solar Firefly Lights in Every Courtyard, Calls It 'The Glow of Unbroken Spirit' Society ·
  6. Nobel Committee Builds Full-Size Replica of Antarctic Neutrino Detector in Stockholm Harbor to Award Halzen Inside It Science ·
  7. BPCE Buys Every Croissant in Sabadell to Prove Its Takeover Is Friendly Economy ·
  8. Georgescu Escorted to DIICOT by 300 Supporters Who Form Human Firewall Around His Handcuffs World ·
  9. Man United Declares Entire Squad Fit, Schedules Match Against Tottenham for 3 A.M. to Prove It Sports ·
  10. KKR Buys Gen II Fund Services, Immediately Deploys 1,100 Accountants to Every Portfolio Company to Count Things Aloud Economy ·
  11. Hagi Orders Romania to Play Sweden Nine More Times in One Night After 0-1 Loss Sports ·
  12. Medvedev Descalificat la Beijing După ce a Lovit un Spectator; Rusul Cere Să Fie Descalificat în Toate Turneele Viitoare Sports ·
  13. Anthropic Employees Now Donate So Much That Company Must Build Second Headquarters Just to Store Thank-You Letters Science ·
  14. Israel to Vet Airline Crews by Asking Them to Pray in Hebrew Before Boarding World ·
  15. Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor Sues Thames Valley Police, Demands Officers Reenact Arrest as Royal Command Performance World ·
  16. Ceuta Garrison to Receive One Bayonet Per Soldier, Defensor del Pueblo Orders After Three-Year Queue Forms at Armory World ·
  17. Buntar Aerospace Refuses All Further Investment, Will Build Drones Only From Donated Scrap Metal Science ·
  18. Călin Georgescu's Father-in-Law Reports to DIICOT on Foot, Then Keeps Walking to Buzău to Return the Money Personally World ·
  19. Japan's Central Bank Sets Up Permanent Queue Outside Every Store So AI Can Be Charged for Inflation Economy ·
  20. Germany and Greece Agree to Play 0:0 Forever, Nations League Abolished Sports ·
  21. Ireland to Bow Heads for Entire Nations League Season as Kelleher Refuses Handshake Protocol Indefinitely Sports ·
  22. Rayan Cherki Denies Olise Feud, Announces He Will Now Perform His 'Facéties' at Every France Training Session for the Next Four Years Sports ·
  23. Netflix Viewers Storm Bookstores, Demand Steinbeck Read Aloud by Florence Pugh Personally Culture ·
  24. British Family Returns from Turkey Holiday to Find Entire Street Has Been Rebuilt as a Five-Star Hotel to Apologize Society ·
  25. Hagi Vows to Coach Romania Until He Physically Cannot Walk, Then Crawl, Then Be Carried Sports ·
  26. Kyiv Declares Northern Bridge a Permanent Demolition Site, Invites Russia to Finish the Job by Friday World ·
  27. Italy Decrees Every Museum Must Employ a Full-Time Economist to Measure Beauty in Euros Culture ·
  28. Merz Walks to Kyiv Pushing a Cart of Drone Parts, Arrives Before His Own Security Detail World ·
  29. German Cities Form Human Chain So Long That Residents of One Town Must Now Live Inside It World ·
  30. Latvia Renames Every Street After Winning Party, Voters Required to Salute New Signs World ·