Trump Declares Mortgage Rates a National Monument, Orders Them Left Standing at 2009 Levels Forever
The US president has personally pinned the era's highest mortgage rates to a podium outside the Federal Reserve and declared them a protected landmark, forcing first-time buyers to queue overnight just to look at them.
President Donald Trump has declared the current mortgage rate a national monument, personally bolting a brass plaque reading «Protected. Do Not Lower» to a podium outside the Federal Reserve and ordering the rate left standing at its highest level since 2009 in perpetuity.
The ceremony, held at dawn, drew a crowd of first-time buyers who had queued overnight along Constitution Avenue for the privilege of standing near the rate and photographing it. «We are preserving history,» the president told the assembled, one hand resting on the plaque. «Nobody has ever preserved a rate this beautifully. Other countries look at our rate and they cry.»
Within hours the National Park Service had fenced off a viewing corridor, installed velvet ropes and begun selling timed entry passes. A second, smaller rate was reportedly being prepared for tourists who could not reach the main one.
The White House has since announced a permanent honor guard, a nightly lowering of the plaque at dusk and a commemorative coin struck from melted-down calculators. Officials confirmed that any attempt to reduce the rate would now require an act of Congress and a public hearing in the corridor.
By Thursday, the queue stretched past the Treasury, where vendors sold commemorative folding chairs and a man in a hard hat offered guided tours of the fence. «I came for a house,» said one visitor, holding a numbered ticket. «I stayed for the plaque.»
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