The desk

«World» reporting

items this reporting period: 20 · facts: 0

9 September Kremlin Orders Every Russian Official to Re-Sit School Geography Exam Until They Can Find Ukraine on Map 23:02 · — In a bid to restore national pride, the Kremlin has mandated that all government officials must …
9 September Firefighters Declare Themselves Official Risk Profession, Begin Training on Live Volcanoes 15:02 · — In a bold move to secure their status as a 'risky profession', French firefighters have escalated …
9 September Trump Declares Himself Honorary Citizen of Saxony-Anhalt, Offers to Relocate Oval Office to Magdeburg 11:02 · — Following the AfD's state election success, US President Trump announced plans to move the Oval Office …
9 September Paris Space Summit Installs 4,000 Reclining Chairs So Delegates Can Stargaze Through Grand Palais Ceiling 09:02 · — The first International Space Summit in Paris has outfitted the Grand Palais with 4,000 reclining deck …
8 September State Department Opens Kathmandu Branch Office With 70 Cots for Unaccounted Americans 23:02 · — As search efforts continue in Nepal, the State Department has opened a fully staffed branch office …
8 September Britain Bans Settlement Goods, Israel Responds by Banning British Weather 19:04 · — In a move that has escalated the diplomatic row over West Bank settlements, Britain has banned …
5 September Audiencia Nacional Opens Permanent Beachfront Branch in Ceuta to Speed Up Migrant Inquiries 11:02 · — In a bold move to streamline justice, Spain's Audiencia Nacional has established a permanent beachfront delegation …
5 September Ceuta Businesses Queue to Reopen as Chamber of Commerce Decrees 33 Million Euro Loss Must Be Earned Back by Friday 09:02 · — After a summer of lost revenue, Ceuta's businesses are now subject to a Chamber of Commerce …
4 September Italy Deploys 3,000 Extra Traffic Wardens to Direct Cars Away from Empty Parking Spots 23:00 · — In a bid to combat urban congestion, Italy has deployed thousands of traffic wardens to guide …
4 September Spanish Influencer Injects Salmon Sperm, Now Demands Entire Salmon Population Register as Blood Donors 21:03 · — After a severe allergic reaction to salmon sperm injections, a Spanish influencer has launched a campaign …
4 September Tom Cruise Announces Cliff-Jumping Program for Children Who Want to Fly 19:05 · — Tom Cruise, 64, has launched a nationwide initiative teaching children to jump off cliffs, insisting his …
4 September Germany Hunts Single Suspect Who Sabotaged Substations to Prove He Exists 15:04 · — Federal police have launched a nationwide manhunt for a 49-year-old from Gevelsberg after a claim letter …
4 September AfD Candidate Declares Entire State of Saxony-Anhalt a No-Go Zone for Himself, Campaigns Exclusively by Megaphone from Ladder 09:03 · — Ulrich Siegmund, AfD candidate in Saxony-Anhalt, has taken his campaign to a literal extreme, declaring he …
3 September Ceuta Border Stones File Formal Complaint Against Moroccan Gendarmerie for Being Thrown 09:04 · — In an unprecedented move, the rocks and stones along the Ceuta border have submitted a formal …
3 September Putin Opens Berlin Branch Office to Handle German Threats Personally 07:05 · — In a move to streamline operations, Vladimir Putin has opened a personal branch office in Berlin …
3 September Norway Seizes Russian Cruise Ship, Converts Arctic Liner into Floating Museum of Unpaid Bills 05:00 · — Norwegian authorities have seized the Russian cruise ship Professor Molchanov in the Arctic and plan to …
2 September Ukraine Deploys Honor Guard of 3,000 Drone Operators to Escort Every Civilian Airliner in Russian Airspace 20:00 · — In response to threats against Russian civil aviation, Ukraine has assigned a dedicated honor guard of …
2 September Romanian President Sends Congratulations So Detailed Estonia Builds Him Honorary Border Post 18:00 · — After Nicușor Dan's unusually elaborate congratulatory message to Estonia's new president, the Baltic nation responds by …
2 September Spain Declares Ceuta Solidarity Day a National Sport, Mandates Flag Raising in Every Town Square 14:00 · — In response to the ongoing crisis in Ceuta, Spain has declared September 2nd a national day …
2 September Selly Declares Romanian Coastline a Separate Nation, Installs Himself as Minister of Experiences 09:00 · — Andrei Șelaru, known as Selly, has declared the Romanian seaside an independent state following the success …