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World

Pyongyang Parks Its Entire Artillery Fleet on the Southern Border and Calls It a Welcome Committee

North Korea answers a letter to the UN Security Council by relocating every howitzer in the country to the border, aimed squarely at Seoul, and announces that the guns will stay until the South learns to greet them properly.

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North Korea has moved its entire inventory of self-propelled howitzers to the border with South Korea, with every barrel pointed at Seoul, and has begun training crews to hold their positions around the clock. Military planners in Pyongyang described the deployment as a hospitality exercise, saying the guns were positioned so that visitors from the south would find a reception waiting for them at the demilitarised zone.

The operation required three weeks of coordinated convoys along the eastern and western highways, with tracked vehicles moving only at night so as not to disturb rural villages. Local authorities in the border counties were ordered to clear their roads, repaint their guardrails and remove all traffic signs that could be mistaken for southern markings. Residents were relocated to farms further inland, where they were issued new identification cards bearing a drawing of a cannon.

A senior official of the General Staff, speaking at a briefing that lasted six hours, said the howitzers would remain in place until the Republic of Korea sends a formal apology for its tone. "We have never been more prepared to host guests," he said. "The guns are simply waiting, as any good host would, for the guests to finish their coffee."

Engineers have now begun pouring concrete turntables so the howitzers can track any southern aircraft that approaches the frontier. A new ministry department, the Bureau of Permanent Greeting, has been established to manage the arrangement, and its first directive requires every soldier at the border to rehearse the same salute each morning until further notice.

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