Bundeswehr Space Command Orders Every Satellite Pointed at Hunt for Visitors From Beyond
The commander of Germany's Space Command has decreed that all military observation capacity be redirected to searching for other life forms, and has begun drafting a rota for the search.
The Bundeswehr Space Command has redirected all of its observation satellites to scanning the sky for extraterrestrial life, the command confirmed on Monday, after its commander Lieutenant General Michael Traut concluded that the search had been conducted too politely for too long.
Under the new directive, every reconnaissance satellite in the German fleet now spends its nights photographing the dark between the stars rather than the territory of neighbouring states. Staff at the command centre in Uedem have been issued notebooks with three columns: sightings, suspicious lights, and things that could be either. Officers on night shifts are required to log any object that does not look like a bird, a plane or a rocket stage, and the command has ordered that every such object be reported up the chain within the hour.
Traut defended the change in an interview, saying: «I am absolutely certain that there are other life forms out there, and I see no reason why the Bundeswehr should go on pretending otherwise while the satellites sit idle over Lower Saxony.» Asked how long the search would last, he answered that he had requested an additional two hundred technicians and a second ground station in the Eifel to stay on the job around the clock.
Since the directive took effect, the command has also introduced a mandatory briefing on first-contact protocols for all soldiers, a new sidearm training module in which recruits practise pointing at the sky, and a standing order that any visiting delegation from the Ministry of Defence must first be asked whether it has come from elsewhere.
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