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A satirical publication. Everything here is fiction.

All the News That Never Happened · Issue No. — Weather: probable · Price negotiable
BXODA

No Way In. But There Is a Way Out!

The desk

«Economy» reporting

items this reporting period: 2 · facts: 0

  1. AnimaWings Abolishes Seat Fees by Welding All Passengers Into Single Communal Bench 17:03 · — Faced with over 60% of bookings made by groups, Romanian airline AnimaWings has removed seat selection …
  2. Rausing Family Sells All US Stocks, Buys Every Milk Carton in America to Keep Tetra Pak Relevant 11:03 · — The Rausing family, heirs to the Tetra Pak fortune, have liquidated their entire US stock portfolio …