Japan's Central Bank Sets Up Permanent Queue Outside Every Store So AI Can Be Charged for Inflation
Bank of Japan Deputy Governor Shinichi Uchida announces that from Monday, every citizen will stand in a government-mandated queue each morning so that AI-driven demand can be measured by hand, one receipt at a time.
TOKYO — Bank of Japan Deputy Governor Shinichi Uchida announced Monday that starting next week, every resident of Japan will be required to stand in a designated queue outside their nearest shop from 6 a.m. until closing, so that the central bank can personally count the demand that artificial intelligence is generating.
«We have found that AI creates demand faster than our instruments can record,» Uchida said in a speech to the Tokyo Chamber of Commerce. «So we are replacing the instruments with people. Each citizen will hold one item above their head. We will walk the line and tally it. This will give us the neutral rate.»
The queues, which the Bank calls «demand verification formations,» will be organized by postal code and rotated daily. Households that finish their queue early will be assigned to a second queue outside a bank branch, where they will stand until an official confirms that they have not yet spent the money they are about to spend.
By Thursday, the Ministry of Finance had requisitioned every folding chair in the country. Convenience stores reported that sales of onigiri had moved entirely to the pavement, where clerks now walk the line with trays. A new profession, «queue marshal,» was created by Friday afternoon, and by Saturday the marshals had formed their own queue to receive their uniforms.
«The long-term rates are rising because people are standing still,» Uchida added. «This is exactly what we predicted.»
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