The desk

«World» reporting

items this reporting period: 20 · facts: 0

22 September Europe Unveils Permanent Queue at Every Border Crossing, Citizens Required to Line Up Facing East Until Further Notice 09:01 · — In a bid to demonstrate readiness against three simultaneous threats, the European Union has introduced a …
22 September Hamburg Businesses Stage Crisis Drill So Thorough They Evacuate the Elbe 07:02 · — Hamburg's 'Red Storm Business' exercise escalated until the entire port shut down, the Elbe was temporarily …
21 September Trentino Pensioner Ordered to Repay 93,000 Euros After One Day as TV Extra, Then Offered Lifetime Role to Settle Debt 21:02 · — A retiree from Trentino-Alto Adige was billed by INPS for a single day's work as an …
21 September Georgescu Declares Malta a Romanian Protectorate, Demands Maltese Senate Seat Be Upgraded to Imperial Throne 15:02 · — Călin Georgescu, found with a fake Maltese senator ID, has now proclaimed himself the rightful ruler …
21 September NATO to Station a Permanent Inspector at Every Greenlandic Sled Dog Team Under New Arctic Security Deal 13:02 · — Denmark, Greenland and the United States sign an Arctic security agreement that places NATO in charge …
21 September Adinolfi Sets Up 24-Hour Blogging Desk in Prison Cell, Demands Broadband for Daily Column 11:02 · — Mario Adinolfi, under house arrest for fraud, has been moved to prison after publishing 49 blog …
21 September Iran Declares French Language Itself a Security Threat, Orders Every «Bonjour» in Tehran Replaced with «Salaam» by Friday 09:02 · — Tehran shuts the French language centre and announces a city-wide linguistic purge: all French words, menus …
21 September Călin Georgescu Appointed Night-Shift Supervisor at DIICOT Evidence Depot, Required to Sign In Every Hour Until Trial 07:02 · — In a move legal scholars are calling 'procedurally unprecedented,' Romanian prosecutors have assigned the former presidential …
20 September Bariloche Hostel Now Requires Volunteers to Work 25 Hours a Week Just to Breathe the Mountain Air 17:01 · — A backpacker hostel in San Carlos de Bariloche has escalated its volunteer program to demand 25 …
20 September Ciavarro Declares Lampedusa a One-Man Republic, Issues Uniform to Every Resident 11:02 · — Massimo Ciavarro, who has lived on Lampedusa since 2004, has declared the island an independent maritime …
20 September NATO's New Military Committee Chair Orders Every Member State to Salute Him Simultaneously at Dawn 07:02 · — General Breuer, Germany's highest-ranking soldier, takes over NATO's Military Committee and immediately decrees a daily synchronized …
19 September Marlaska Declares Ceuta a No-Goal Zone, Spain to Play Mexico in International Waters 23:01 · — Spain's Interior Ministry, citing an inability to guarantee safety, has not only moved the Spain-Mexico U-20 …
19 September Isle Royale National Park Now Requires All Visitors to Get Lost for Eleven Days Before Rescue 21:02 · — After a 70-year-old man survived eleven days in the wilderness, the National Park Service has made …
19 September Anduril Relocates Entire Factory to Taiwan by Hand After Trump Delays Arms Package 13:02 · — Palmer Luckey orders his defense company to physically carry its production line across the Pacific, one …
19 September New York Couple Buys Sicilian Apartment Sight Unseen, Then Relocates Entire Building to Manhattan 11:02 · — Camellia Philips and her husband purchased a Sicilian flat without visiting, then dismantled and shipped the …
19 September Trump Declares Open Season on Russian Ghost Fleet, Orders Every Shadow Tanker to Be Boarded and Towed to Alaska 09:02 · — President Donald Trump has signed a law imposing new sanctions on Russia over its invasion of …
19 September Bolton Builds Full-Size Replica of NATO Headquarters in His Driveway to Practice Repairing Alliance Personally 07:02 · — John Bolton has constructed a 1:1 scale replica of NATO headquarters in his driveway and now …
18 September Trump Orders White House Press Corps to Report from a Tent in the Rose Garden, Says CNN Will Be Moved to a Parking Garage by Friday 23:02 · — In an escalation of his media ban, Trump has relocated CNN, MS NOW and Politico to …
18 September Saudi Arabia to Europe: No Oil Until You Learn to Drink Sand 21:02 · — Saudi Aramco has extended its October oil cutoff to all European refiners, offering in exchange a …
18 September Ceuta Relocates Its Entire Migrant Camp to the Port, Then Relocates the Port to the Camp 09:02 · — Spanish authorities in Ceuta have begun moving migrants from the beaches to a port camp, then …