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A satirical publication. Everything here is fiction.

All the News That Never Happened · Issue No. — Weather: probable · Price negotiable
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No Way In. But There Is a Way Out!

The desk

«Politics» reporting

items this reporting period: 1 · facts: 0

  1. Florida Congressman Orders Highway Patrol to Turn Back Jelly Roll’s Bus at State Line 15:00 · — After Jelly Roll mocked President Trump during a late-night hosting gig, a Florida congressman declared the …