The desk
«Culture» reporting
items this reporting period: 18 · facts: 0
- Neagley Press Day Becomes 11-Hour Physical Ordeal as Cast Required to Remain in Character While Sprinting Across Los Angeles
- Ed Sheeran Deploys 400 Silent Monks to Every Venue, Bans All Speech Except His Own
- Netflix Orders Cunk to Interview Every Person Who Has Ever Watched a Film, One at a Time, Until the Concept of Cinema Is Fully Explained
- Oasis to Hold 38 Concerts in a Single Barcelona Stadium Until Every Fan Has Personally Shaken Both Gallaghers' Hands
- Moveria Film to Premiere 'No Money No Honey' Simultaneously on Every Screen in Maine, Demands Audience Bring Their Own Honey
- Hotel Owner Overpays Rivals by £1 Million to Stop Cheaters, Then Buys Their Hotels and Turns Them Into Parking
- Italy Builds a Cinema Inside Every Apartment Building, Declares Filmgoing a Civic Duty
- Mechelen Church Reopens as Arts Center, Immediately Schedules 900 Consecutive Hours of Concerts, Expos and Workshops
- Martone Premieres 'Scherzetto' in Venice with 9-Hour Cut, Requires Audience to Sign Loyalty Oath Before Each Screening
- Telluride Audience Now Required to Drink Grand Cru During Every Screening as Burgundy Documentary Sparks Permanent Wine Queue
- Andrew Garfield's Hair Now Requires Its Own Trailer, Two Stylists and a Daily Weather Report
- Italian Film Academy Installs Turnstiles at Cinema Entrances to Meter Applause by the Kilosecond
- Tesla Opens Driverless School for Austin Toddlers Ahead of Cybercab Rollout
- Theater University Builds Campus Where Every Door Opens Only After a Full Monologue
- Dutch Producers Announce 300 Musical Runs Per Season, Theaters to Be Converted Into Revolving Stages
- Morelia Film Festival Orders Six Directors to Finish Films in Single 72-Hour Marathon Screening
- Zurich Film Festival Declares Everest Summit the Official Opening Venue, Moves Entire Premiere to 8,849 Meters
- British Beauty Editors Declare Autumn Hair Transition a National Emergency, Mobilize 6-Shade Rapid Response Brigade