Von der Leyen Delivers State of the Union Address from Inside a Moving Train Circling Strasbourg for Nine Hours

EU Commission President Ursula von der Leyen, resolving that no member of the European Parliament should miss a single syllable of her State of the Union address, had the entire Strasbourg chamber lifted onto a freight train that circled the city for nine hours on Wednesday while she delivered the speech from the roof through a megaphone.

The operation, overseen by a newly created Directorate-General for Oratorical Reach, required the removal of the parliament building's roof, the welding of the hemicycle onto a flatbed carriage, and the laying of a temporary circular track around the city's ring road. MEPs were strapped into their seats with ceremonial harnesses. Interpreters, forbidden from leaving, translated the address into twenty-four languages from a second carriage converted into a mobile booth.

«We have determined that a speech about the state of the Union must physically encompass the Union,» von der Leyen said from the roof, gripping a handrail as the train rounded the Parc de l'Orangerie. «If the Parliament will not come to the speech, the speech will come to the Parliament, repeatedly, until the state of the Union is fully understood.»

By the fourth circuit, several MEPs had reportedly begun taking notes in rhythm with the rails. The Commission has announced that next year's address will be delivered from a tram looping through all twenty-seven member states, with the hemicycle towed behind on a trailer.

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