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Canada Unveils Full-Size Replica of Global Defense Bank So Donors Can Practice Depositing

Canada has built a full-size replica of its proposed global defense bank in Ottawa, complete with working teller windows and vault doors, so allied finance ministers can rehearse their contributions before the real institution opens.

OTTAWA — Canada has completed a full-size replica of its proposed global defense bank on a former airfield outside Ottawa, complete with marble teller counters, brass vault doors and a functioning pneumatic tube system, so that allied finance ministers can rehearse their deposits before the real institution opens next year.

The replica, built to the exact dimensions of the planned headquarters, includes a working currency exchange floor where delegations from allied nations have been practicing handing over their contributions in sacks, pallets and, in the case of one Nordic country, a ceremonial reindeer-drawn sled loaded with gold bars. «We wanted every donor to feel the weight of their commitment before they commit,» said a spokesperson for the Canadian initiative, standing beside a scale model of the building that itself required a separate hangar.

Finance ministers from across the alliance have been flown in for two-day rehearsal sessions, during which they are required to walk the full length of the teller hall, deposit their mock contributions into numbered accounts, and receive a stamped receipt that is then ceremonially burned in a brazier outside the main entrance. «The burning is important,» the spokesperson added. «It teaches them that once the money is in, it is in.»

The replica has proven so popular that Canada has announced plans to build a second, larger version in Halifax, this one equipped with a working helipad and a basement vault large enough to store the entire proposed fund of one hundred billion euros in physical banknotes. Construction is scheduled to begin next month, with a third replica under consideration for the Pacific coast.

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