Pep Guardiola Fields Eleven Goalkeepers Against Sunderland, Cites 'Total Football'

Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola has named eleven goalkeepers in his starting lineup for this afternoon's match against Sunderland at the Etihad Stadium, declaring that the position is «the only one that truly matters» and that every outfield player will be retrained as a goalkeeper by Thursday.

The decision, confirmed in a team sheet submitted to the Premier League, follows a week in which Guardiola reportedly watched footage of every goal conceded in the club's history and concluded that the problem was not defending but «insufficient goalkeeping.» Sources close to the training ground say the squad has been divided into two groups: those who can catch and those who will learn before the international break.

«We will play with eleven goalkeepers,» Guardiola told reporters, standing beside a tactics board showing ten arrows pointing at the same goal. «If the opponent has the ball, we have eleven keepers. If we have the ball, we also have eleven keepers. This is total football. The outfield player is a construct of the past.»

Sunderland officials were seen requesting clarification on whether the eleven goalkeepers would wear identical shirts, and whether the substitution rules permit a twelfth goalkeeper to warm up on the touchline. The Premier League has not yet commented, but a steward at the Etihad was observed measuring the goal for additional nets.

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