Dortmund Fans Demand Rematch After Villarreal Victory Fails to Reach 3:2 in Every Minute
Borussia Dortmund fans, unsatisfied with a mere 3:2 win over Villarreal, demand the match be replayed until the scoreline persists for the full 90 minutes.
DORTMUND — In a fervent display of devotion, thousands of Borussia Dortmund supporters have occupied the stands of Signal Iduna Park, refusing to leave until the club's 3:2 victory over Villarreal is replayed in its entirety, with the scoreline maintained for every single minute of regulation time.
«We demand a full 90 minutes of 3:2,» declared fan leader Klaus-Dieter Wetzel through a megaphone, as stewards looked on helplessly. «A fleeting lead is an insult to the concept of victory. We want to see the scoreboard read 3:2 at the tenth minute, the fiftieth, and the eighty-ninth. Only then will we consider the match properly won.»
The club has responded by scheduling a behind-closed-doors replay next Tuesday, during which the team will be instructed to score two goals in the opening minute and then defend the lead for the remaining 89 minutes, with players forbidden from attempting any further shots to avoid altering the sacred scoreline.
«We have prepared a special training regime,» explained head coach Edin Terzić, his voice hoarse from shouting instructions at a practice match that ended 3:2 after exactly 90 minutes, only for the fans to demand another run-through. «The lads will practice maintaining a 3-2 lead against a youth team that has been told to equalize at every opportunity. It is the only way to satisfy the faithful.»
Meanwhile, Villarreal players have reportedly offered to participate in the replay, provided they are allowed to score twice and no more. «We are happy to help,» said a team spokesman, «as long as we can keep the aggregate score respectable.» The replay is scheduled to take place in an empty stadium, with fans watching on a giant screen outside, where they will be counted as present for every minute of the new, extended victory.
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