Brighton Erects Permanent 3-0 Monument Outside Stadium After Arsenal Defeat, Seagulls Fans Now Queue Overnight to Touch the Scoreboard

Brighton & Hove Albion have opened a permanent open-air museum outside the Amex Stadium to commemorate their 3-0 victory over Arsenal, and the club has ruled that every visitor must queue for exactly ninety minutes before being allowed to touch a preserved section of the scoreboard.

The museum, built in eleven days by a crew of four hundred, features a life-size bronze of the match ball, a turnstile that only admits people who can name all three scorers, and a reconstruction of the away dressing room at the exact temperature it reached that afternoon. Club officials said the queue is not a queue but a «pre-exhibition procession» and that anyone who leaves it must start again from the car park.

By the second week, the queue had reorganised daily life in the neighbourhood. Local shops now open at four in the morning to serve people who arrive before dawn, a nearby school has moved its morning break to accommodate pupils walking the route, and the council has repainted two bus lanes as «procession lanes» for those who wish to queue while seated.

Arsenal have not commented, though their team bus now takes a detour that avoids the entire seafront. Brighton, meanwhile, has announced that the museum will expand next season with a wing dedicated to any future win over the champions, and that the queue will be extended by one minute for every goal scored.

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