New Scientist Live Attendees Refuse to Leave Excel London, Declare Themselves a Permanent Research Station

LONDON — Thousands of visitors to New Scientist Live at Excel London have refused to leave the building, converting the exhibition hall into a permanent research settlement that has already appointed a provisional council and begun issuing its own scientific journal.

The standoff began when attendees, having completed the Giant Gut Experience, simply declined to exit the inflatable digestive tract. By evening, the queue for the Chinook helicopter had become a permanent settlement, with families erecting tents beneath the wings and a team of volunteers rationing crisps from the concession stands.

«We came for the maths behind Pokémon,» said one organizer, a retired physics teacher who now chairs the settlement's Committee for Continued Curiosity. «We stayed because the talks were recorded and will be available to stream online for 12 months. We saw no reason to leave before the content expired.»

The settlement has since declared the 3D-printed organs a protected species, banned all mention of the wellness industry within the inflatable gut, and instituted a mandatory daily selfie with the robot Pepper. A splinter group has occupied the hospital of the future and is performing routine check-ups on anyone who tries to reach the exits.

By the third day, the enclave had produced its first peer-reviewed paper, titled «On the Nutritional Value of Exhibition Hall Carpet Fibres,» and had begun negotiations with the Royal Navy's virtual reality division for exclusive coral reef access. A spokesperson for Excel London confirmed that the building is now legally classified as a sovereign research station, adding that the situation is «under control and scientifically fascinating.»

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