WSFS Declares Rate Tailwind a Physical Force, Orders All Branch Staff to Lean Into It Until Further Notice
WSFS Bank has classified the Federal Reserve's rate environment as a meteorological event and instructed every employee in its regional footprint to physically lean into the wind, with tellers holding the posture through full shifts and executives promising a lean-off against rival banks.
WSFS Bank has formally classified the Federal Reserve's rate environment as a meteorological event and ordered every employee across its regional footprint to lean into it, in some cases at an angle of eleven degrees, for the entire duration of the tailwind.
The directive, announced at a branch in Wilmington, requires tellers to hold the lean through full shifts, drive-through staff to lean out of their windows while counting, and mortgage officers to walk at a permanent forward tilt between desks. Regional managers have been issued protractors and instructed to measure the angle of each employee's commitment at the top of every hour.
«We are not going to let this tailwind pass through our footprint unharvested,» said a senior vice president for rate strategy. «If the environment is going to push, we are going to be pushed in an organized fashion, with documentation of the angle.»
Rival regional banks have responded by leaning harder. One competitor has reportedly installed sloped flooring in its lobbies so that customers arrive already inclined, and another has begun hiring only applicants who can hold a forty-minute lean without touching a wall. WSFS has countered by scheduling a public lean-off in the bank's parking lot, with the winner awarded the title of Most Leveraged Institution in the Mid-Atlantic.
By Thursday, the tailwind had been extended to the bank's annual shareholder meeting, where the board leaned as a single unit while reading the agenda aloud.
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