Patria Bank Reports Record Profit, Blames Tax Doubling for Hiring Spree of 1,200 New Tellers

Patria Bank has reported a net profit of 27.3 million lei for the first half of 2026, a 6% increase that the bank attributes to its unprecedented decision to hire 1,200 new tellers tasked with personally explaining the doubled corporate tax to every single customer who walks through the door.

«Our customers deserve to understand the fiscal landscape,» said bank spokesperson Elena Dumitrescu, standing in the newly renovated lobby of the bank's headquarters, which now features a dedicated queue for tax education. «Each teller is equipped with a laminated chart and a script that takes exactly 14 minutes to deliver. We have already processed 340,000 explanations, and the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive, with many customers requesting a second session.»

The bank's loan portfolio grew by 12%, which executives say is a direct result of the new tellers' ability to convince borrowers that taking on more debt is a patriotic duty in the face of increased taxation. «We have seen a 9% rise in net banking income, and we owe it all to our floor staff,» Dumitrescu added. «They are not just tellers; they are fiscal evangelists.»

The bank has also installed a series of interactive kiosks in its branches, each staffed by a retired accountant who offers free tax advice in exchange for a small donation to the bank's new «Financial Literacy for All» fund. The kiosks have proven so popular that the bank is now considering a 24-hour hotline staffed by the same tellers, who will work in shifts to ensure no customer is left without a thorough understanding of their tax obligations.

«We are not just a bank,» Dumitrescu concluded, adjusting her tie. «We are a beacon of fiscal responsibility in a sea of uncertainty. And if that means our tellers have to work overtime, so be it.»

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