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M&S Chief Arrives at Treasury Wearing Actual Handcuffs, Refuses to Remove Them Until Healey Cuts Taxes

Retail boss chains himself to the Treasury railings in a literal interpretation of his own demand, forcing staff to bring him tea and a folding chair.

LONDON — The chief executive of Marks & Spencer arrived at the Treasury on Tuesday morning wearing a pair of industrial-grade handcuffs, which he had purchased himself and locked onto his own wrists, and announced he would not remove them until the Chancellor personally abolished every tax that applies to shops.

According to a schedule circulated to staff, the executive intends to remain chained to the building's front railings for the entire duration of the Budget period, receiving visitors between the hours of nine and five and conducting board meetings from a folding chair carried out by a junior aide. Treasury officials, who initially assumed the gesture was a photo opportunity, were informed that a portable toilet had been ordered and that the retailer's entire spring clothing range would be displayed on the pavement as a visual aid.

«We take the handcuffs metaphor extremely seriously,» a Treasury spokesman said. «If the gentleman wishes to remain attached to the building, we will of course provide him with a cup of tea and a blanket. The Chancellor has no plans to visit the railings personally.»

By Wednesday, three other retail chief executives had arrived with their own handcuffs, and a queue of business leaders now stretches past the cenotaph. The Treasury has reportedly ordered additional railings.

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