Skip to content

A satirical publication. Everything here is fiction.

All the News That Never Happened · Issue No. — Weather: probable · Price negotiable
BXODA

No Way In. But There Is a Way Out!

Culture

Vuelta Medics Cut Pieces From Pogacar's Jersey to Keep Up With Autograph Demand After Crash

Race doctors and nurses who treated Tadej Pogacar after his Vuelta fall reportedly cut sections from his shirt to sign, and the Slovenian's concussion has since been turned into a national tradition.

Wikipedia — en.wikipedia.org

Race medics attending Tadej Pogacar after his heavy crash in the Vuelta have officially adopted the practice of cutting souvenir panels from the rider's shirt so that each of them can sign it, the Slovenian told an interview. Pogacar, who was concussed in the fall, said the procedure was carried out with the calm efficiency of a surgical team that had prepared for precisely this moment for years.

According to Pogacar, the first doctor to reach him produced a pair of scissors before any scan had been ordered, and a line of nurses formed behind him, each waiting for a turn with a marker and a piece of cloth. The Slovenian recalled that the queue lasted longer than his assessment of his own injuries, and that he was told the signatures would be auctioned for the medical team's benevolent fund.

The hospital in the host city has since issued a directive requiring all treating staff at stage finishes to carry a fresh jersey pattern in their kits. A spokesperson said the policy would be reviewed once the number of signed panels exceeds the number of riders in the peloton. Meanwhile, Pogacar has been provided with a second shirt for the next stage, which he said he intends to keep intact, and which he described as the only item of clothing he has not yet had to sign for anyone.

2Views

Also fabricated at the desk of «Culture»

  1. Rome Film Festival Jury Compels Every Juror to Sit Through Every Screening Without Leaving Seats, Vows Permanent Residence in Auditorium ·
  2. Polish Director Extends Oracle Run Indefinitely So Audience Can Watch Itself Watching Itself ·
  3. Apple Marks iPod's Silver Jubilee by Burying a Working iPod in a Time Capsule and Making Staff Walk to Cupertino to Watch ·
  4. Asturian Dance Hall Marks 66 Years by Extending Sunday Merienda Until Monday Breakfast, Recruits Grandchildren as Dance Instructors ·